Psalm 119: 89-92
“Forever, O Lord, your word is firmly fixed in the heavens. Your faithfulness endures to all generations; you have established the earth, and it stands fast. By your appointment they stand this day, for all things are your servants. If your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction.”
Proverbs 13:12
“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.”
So many of us are desperate for a miracle. We need healing for relationships, healing for our families, healing for our minds, healing for our bodies. We know God is a God of miracles and that he is able to do the impossible. We muster up every ounce of faith and place those deep, raw places at God’s feet and ask him to intervene. When it happens, when we see those prayers answered, oh the joy! But when we don’t see our prayers answered in the way we had hoped, when the answer is yet unseen, or the healing does not happen on this side of Heaven, what do we do with that? We know healing is for today and yet we don’t see it happen every time. I cannot give a definitive answer to the why, but as one who has experienced a lot of loss: the loss of a marriage, the loss of a home, the loss of dreams, praying for the healing of a child for decades, to name a few….I can still tell you God is extravagantly good, loving, faithful, and trustworthy even though many of my prayers have not been answered in the way I had hoped and still hope for.
I remember one time, I took my then 5-year-old son to a service designated to pray for people to be healed. His feet were twisted from cerebral palsy and he had never been able to wear normal kid shoes. At the time he had to wear a big stiff belt around his waist that had powerful cables on either side going down to his bulky orthotics. The cables would pull his feet into a position where he could ambulate without damaging his ankles. My heart’s cry was to see him walk and run and climb and jump around without any limitations. I had been in a deep time of intercession and fasting for him. My faith was so high that before going to the meeting, I went to the store and bought him a pair of “normal kids” shoes, even though money was tight. He was prayed for by many people that night, and many others since, yet there was nothing I could see in the natural that had changed. I went home disappointed, frustrated, and angry. As I circled through all my emotions over the days following, bringing them honestly and unfiltered to the Lord (code for a major temper tantrum with God), I could feel his deep love and compassion. He just let me get it all out and began to minister to me. He reminded me that he loved me and he loved my son, so much more than I ever could. He reminded me that he chose me and equipped me to walk this journey out in my faith and as a mom to this child. My requests weren’t answered in the way I wanted, but I got to experience a loving Father who sees me and my circumstances in ways I cannot.
God meets us in the process. Suffering and grief are painful and yet God promises to use all things together for the good of those who love him. He promises if we do not grow weary in doing what is right, we will reap a good reward. He promises that those who wait upon the Lord, he will renew their strength. He says he will never leave us or forsake us and that he is near to the brokenhearted. We have promise upon promise in the “no” and “not yet”. Just because we haven’t seen it, doesn’t mean we won’t. I know that whether I see my son healed on earth or in heaven, it will bring glory to God. I know I cannot give up hoping for the impossible. I know God can do it. When he does, it will not just be a miracle for my son and our family, but for the hundreds and hundreds of people who have prayed with me. I will endlessly risk disappointment with faith. And when my heart breaks, God brings just what I need if I open myself up to him. If he does it for me, he will do it for you. Will you risk with me?
Listening Prayer:
Holy Spirit what areas of disappointment, pain, or grief have I been withholding from you? How do you want to minister to my heart today? What am I carrying that you want me to hand back to you in my pain?
Prayer:
Lord, I confess that I don’t understand why healing doesn’t always happen. I confess that I have been hurt, disappointed and confused. Today, I choose to give you my grief, my pain, my disappointment, and my anger. Help me to heal as I release my big emotions to you. When the time is right, give me the courage to walk in faith and trust in you. Open my eyes to see how you have been with me and for me, through it all. Your word says you work all things together for the good of those who love you. Lord, help me to see your good through the pain, help me to sense your love and your presence. Help me to draw near to you as you wrap your arms around me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Resource: Bible Verses For When Healing Doesn’t Happen Now
Psalm 34:17-19
“When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all.”
Psalm 56:8
“You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?”
Isaiah 40:29-31
“He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.”